Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Catastrophic Effects of Global Warming on Humanity

New Democratic Constituency?
This just in.  Scientists at Harvard University have determined that man-made global warming may result in the dead coming back to life.  The revived dead will then walk about, grunting and groaning and attacking the living, eating them.

The remaining normal humans will dwindle in numbers, forming small survival parties to roam the ruins of civilization, searching for safe havens from the voracious zombies.  The only known way to kill the zombies is to shoot or stab them in the head. Another possible way is to force the zombies to watch endless reruns of the Bill Maher show, where they will then willingly kill themselves.

Democratic Party leaders are seeking to register the Walking Dead to vote, thus becoming yet another Democrat constituency.  Senator Charles Schumer, D-NY, noted that Democrats and the Walking Dead share many common values and beliefs.  Both are smelly, produce nothing of value, and spend all of their time eating the rich living.